When I was five years old, my life hit me with a right hook. My sister was six months old and my mom had been feeling sick for a while. She kept going to the doctor but, always got the same response, "you have a cold Sally".
Finally that dreadful day came. The doctors decided to give her a scan just to make sure that there was nothing seriously wrong. That’s when they found it, the thing that was the start to the worst part of my life. It turns out that cold she had been struggling with was really cancer in her lymph nodes. So a cancer called lymphoma was killing my mom.
She began receiving tests and was always at the hospital, leaving me, my two brothers and my baby sister at home without our mother. My grandparents who had been living with us on and off finally moved in permanently.
I was six years old now and going into my second year of Catholic school. My mom was still having tests but, she began to get worse. The cancer was rapidly growing and all I wanted was to be a regular six year old playing at the playground with my mom. I was trying to get use to being a little mother to my sister and it started to show me the reality of my life.
My dad slowly seemed to be gone more then ever. He was working more and more, taking on extra overtime at the hospital and even a second job. I began to notice that people would bring us dinner and that getting the usual ice cream with my dad or the candy at the gas station up the street with my mom didn't happen any more. I would hear my parents talking about how we needed to watch our spending closer and I guess with just my dad working and my mom beginning chemo with two kids in private school, things got pretty tight. I never saw it from my mom though; she believed that God was in control.
As if things weren't bad enough I began to struggle with school. Failing tests here and there it seemed like God had forgotten all about me. I began to pray decades of the rosary three or four times a day when the other kids would be playing soccer at recess.
My mom was now extremely sick. She had lost all her hair from the chemo. I began to cry my self to sleep because I hated it when she went to the hospital, I was so afraid of her not coming home that night. It was these nights that I would have nightmares about her dieing without letting me say goodbye. I started to fake stomach aches so I could sit in my mom arms without her knowing how afraid I was. It was that comforting rocking that helped me to keep pushing through the pain.
One day the doctors told her that the cancer was terminal. I then began to hate school, mostly because I always wanted to be at home with my mom but also because I couldn't read. I began to feel like I was a failure. I felt like I was letting my mom down because she had to spend time taking me to the Kluge center to get tested and I just wanted her to focus on getting better. I was so afraid she was going to die when I wasn't with her. My mom didn't know but one night I heard her talking with my dad and I heard her tell him that the doctors gave her two years to live.
Now I was seven years old and in second grade. School wasn't much better and neither was my mom. Then on an amazing day I think God finally heard my prayers. Some how the chemo she had been receiving had cured her. It was a miracle! Out of the blue when she went in for a scan after a treatment and they couldn’t find any tumors. The cancer was gone. She didn't need treatments anymore. I had my mom back!
Home life began to get better. My mom became healthier and healthier. Finally we weren't as short on money. My mom decided now that she was cancer free it was time to find my dyslexia a tutor, well, one that didn't make me feel even dumber. We found my angel, Ms. Robinson. She was able to do what no one else could, she taught me to read.
I could now read on a first grade reading level but, I was finishing the second grade. My mom was back to her normal self and I felt like I got my family back. Just when things were looking better the principle decided to put me back in second grade. I cried for days and I felt so bad because my mom felt like it was her fault because she was sick and couldn't help me as much as I had needed her to. I hated seeing those tears in my mom’s eyes from seeing her baby girl have to repeat a grade because she couldn’t read well enough to move on to the next. I then started to feel like I wasn't allowed to be happy ever again.
So I entered second grade again and then realized that Ms. Chiccarone saved me from failing for the rest of my life. She supported me with my learning needs but also boosted my self confidence, which was something I seriously lacked. So with two angels on my side, I became a smart child. Then for the first time in three years, I was truly happy. I knew how to treasure life and love everything that happens because I know that God was listening through it all, even if it took along time. I wouldn't trade any of this for the world because now I know what love, life, tears and true happiness really mean in life.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Cancer (Second Draft)
When I was five, life surrounding me hit with a right hook. My sister was six months old and my mom had been feeling sick for a while. She kept going to the doctor, always got the same response, "you have a cold Sally".
Finally that dreadful day came. The doctors decided to give her a scan just to make sure that there was nothing seriously wrong. That’s when they found what could be the worst event of my life. It turns out that cold she had been struggling with was really cancer in her lymph nodes. Something called lymphoma was killing my mom.
She began receiving tests and was always at the hospital, leaving me, my two brothers and my baby sister at home without our mother. My grandparents who had been living with us on and off finally moved in permanently.
I was six and going into my second year of Catholic school. My mom was still having tests but, she began to get worse. The cancer was rapidly growing and I wanted to be a regular six year old playing at the playground with my mom. I was trying to get use to being a little mother to my sister and it started to show me the reality of my life.
My dad slowly seemed to be gone more then ever. He was working more and more, taking on extra overtime at the hospital and a second job. I began to notice that people would bring us dinner and that getting the usual ice cream with my dad or the candy at the gas station up the street with my mom didn't happen any more. I would hear my parents talking about how we needed to watch our spending closer. I guess with just my dad working and my mom beginning chemo with two kids in private school, things got pretty tight. I never saw it from my mom though; she believed that God was in control.
As if things weren't bad enough I began to struggle with school. Failing tests here and there it seemed like God had forgotten all about me. I began to pray decades of the rosary three or four times a day when other kids would be playing soccer at recess.
My mom was now really sick. She had lost all her hair from the chemo and I started to cry my self to sleep. I hated it when she went to the hospital I was afraid of her not coming home that night because something was wrong. It was these nights that I would have nightmares about her dieing without letting me say goodbye. I started to fake stomach aches so I could sit in my mom arms without her knowing how afraid I was.
One day the doctors told her that the cancer was terminal. I then began to hate school, mostly because I always wanted to be at home with my mom but also because I couldn't read. I began to feel like I was a failure. I felt like I was failing my mom because she had to spend time taking me to the Kluge center to get tested and I just wanted her to get better. I was so afraid she was going to die when I wasn't with her. My mom didn't know but one night I heard her talking with my dad and I heard her say the doctors gave her two years to live.
Now I was seven and in second grade. School wasn't much better and neither was my mom. Then on one amazing day I think God finally heard my prayers. Some how the chemo she had been receiving had cured her. It was a miracle! Out of the blue when she went in for a scan after a treatment and they couldn’t find any tumors. The cancer was gone. She didn't need treatments anymore. I had my mom back!
Home life began to get better. My mom became healthier and healthier. Finally we weren't as short on money. My mom decided now that she was cancer free it was time to find my dyslexia a tutor, one that didn't make me feel even dumber. We found my angel Ms. Robinson. She was able to do what no one else could, she taught me to read.
I could now reading on a first grade reading level but, I was finishing second grade. My mom was back to her normal self and I felt like I got my family back. Just when things were looking better the principle decided to put me back in second grade. I cried for days and I felt so bad because my mom felt like it was her fault because she was sick and couldn't help me as much as I had needed her to. I hated seeing those tears in my mom’s eyes from seeing her baby girl have to repeat a grade because she couldn’t read well enough to move on to the next grade. I then started to feel like I wasn't allowed to be happy ever again.
So I entered second grade again and then realized that Ms. Chiccarone saved me from failing for the rest of my life. She supported me with my learning needs but also boosted my self confidence, which was something I seriously lacked. So with two angels on my side I became for the first time, a smart child. Then for the first time in three years, I was truly happy. I knew how to treasure life and love everything that happens because I know that God was listening through it all, even if it took along time. I wouldn't trade any of this for the world because now I know what love, life, tears and true happiness really mean in life.
Finally that dreadful day came. The doctors decided to give her a scan just to make sure that there was nothing seriously wrong. That’s when they found what could be the worst event of my life. It turns out that cold she had been struggling with was really cancer in her lymph nodes. Something called lymphoma was killing my mom.
She began receiving tests and was always at the hospital, leaving me, my two brothers and my baby sister at home without our mother. My grandparents who had been living with us on and off finally moved in permanently.
I was six and going into my second year of Catholic school. My mom was still having tests but, she began to get worse. The cancer was rapidly growing and I wanted to be a regular six year old playing at the playground with my mom. I was trying to get use to being a little mother to my sister and it started to show me the reality of my life.
My dad slowly seemed to be gone more then ever. He was working more and more, taking on extra overtime at the hospital and a second job. I began to notice that people would bring us dinner and that getting the usual ice cream with my dad or the candy at the gas station up the street with my mom didn't happen any more. I would hear my parents talking about how we needed to watch our spending closer. I guess with just my dad working and my mom beginning chemo with two kids in private school, things got pretty tight. I never saw it from my mom though; she believed that God was in control.
As if things weren't bad enough I began to struggle with school. Failing tests here and there it seemed like God had forgotten all about me. I began to pray decades of the rosary three or four times a day when other kids would be playing soccer at recess.
My mom was now really sick. She had lost all her hair from the chemo and I started to cry my self to sleep. I hated it when she went to the hospital I was afraid of her not coming home that night because something was wrong. It was these nights that I would have nightmares about her dieing without letting me say goodbye. I started to fake stomach aches so I could sit in my mom arms without her knowing how afraid I was.
One day the doctors told her that the cancer was terminal. I then began to hate school, mostly because I always wanted to be at home with my mom but also because I couldn't read. I began to feel like I was a failure. I felt like I was failing my mom because she had to spend time taking me to the Kluge center to get tested and I just wanted her to get better. I was so afraid she was going to die when I wasn't with her. My mom didn't know but one night I heard her talking with my dad and I heard her say the doctors gave her two years to live.
Now I was seven and in second grade. School wasn't much better and neither was my mom. Then on one amazing day I think God finally heard my prayers. Some how the chemo she had been receiving had cured her. It was a miracle! Out of the blue when she went in for a scan after a treatment and they couldn’t find any tumors. The cancer was gone. She didn't need treatments anymore. I had my mom back!
Home life began to get better. My mom became healthier and healthier. Finally we weren't as short on money. My mom decided now that she was cancer free it was time to find my dyslexia a tutor, one that didn't make me feel even dumber. We found my angel Ms. Robinson. She was able to do what no one else could, she taught me to read.
I could now reading on a first grade reading level but, I was finishing second grade. My mom was back to her normal self and I felt like I got my family back. Just when things were looking better the principle decided to put me back in second grade. I cried for days and I felt so bad because my mom felt like it was her fault because she was sick and couldn't help me as much as I had needed her to. I hated seeing those tears in my mom’s eyes from seeing her baby girl have to repeat a grade because she couldn’t read well enough to move on to the next grade. I then started to feel like I wasn't allowed to be happy ever again.
So I entered second grade again and then realized that Ms. Chiccarone saved me from failing for the rest of my life. She supported me with my learning needs but also boosted my self confidence, which was something I seriously lacked. So with two angels on my side I became for the first time, a smart child. Then for the first time in three years, I was truly happy. I knew how to treasure life and love everything that happens because I know that God was listening through it all, even if it took along time. I wouldn't trade any of this for the world because now I know what love, life, tears and true happiness really mean in life.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Cancer
When I was 5 the life surrounding me hit with a right hook. My sister was 6 months home and my mom had been feeling sick for a wile. She kept going to the doctor and kept getting the same response, "you have a cold Sally". Finally that dreadful day came. The doctors decided to give her a scan just to make sure there was nothing seriously wrong with her. Then they found possibly what could be the worst part of my life. It turns out that cold she had been struggling with was really cancer in her lymph nodes. So a little thing called lymphoma was killing my mom. She was receiving tests and always at the hospital leaving me my 2 brothers and my baby sister at home without our mother. My grandparents who had been living with us on and off finally moved in permanently. I was 6 and going into my second year of catholic school. My mom was still having test but she began to get worse. The cancer was rapidly growing and I wanted to be a 6 year old playing at the playground with my mom. I was trying to get use to being like a little mother to my sister and it was beginning to show me the reality of my life. My dad slowly seemed to be gone more then ever. He was working more and more taking on extra overtime at the hospital and a second job. It seemed like I began to notice that people would bring us dinner and that getting the usual ice cream with my dad or the candy at the gas station up the street with my mom didn't happen any more. I would hear my parents talking about how we would need to watch our spending closer. I guess with just my dad working and my mom beginning chemo and 2 kids in private school things got pretty tight. I never saw it from my mom though she was always believing that God was in control. As if things weren't bad enough I began to struggle with school. Failing tests here and there it seemed like God had forgotten about me. I began to pray ever day three or four times. My mom was now really sick. She had lost all her hair and I started to cry my self to sleep. I hated it when she went to the hospital I was afraid of her not coming home that night because something was wrong. I started to fake stomach aches so I could sit in my mom arms without her knowing how afraid I was. The doctors then told her that the cancer was terminal. I then began to hate school. Mostly because I always wanted to be at home with my mom but also because I couldn't read. I began to feel like I was a failure. I felt like I was failing my mom because she had to spend time taking me to the Kluge center to get tested and I just wanted her to get better. I was so afraid she was gonna die when I wasn't with her. I began to get nightmares almost every night. My mom didn't know but one night I heard her talking with my dad and I heard her say the doctors gave her 2 years to live. Now I was 7 and in second grade. School wasn't much better and neither was my mom. But then I think God finally heard my prayers. Some how the chemo cured her. The cancer was gone. She didn't need treatments anymore. Home life began to get better. Then my mom became healthier and healthier. Finally we weren't as short on money. My mom decided now that she was cancer free it was time to find my dyslexia a tutor that didn't make me feel even dumber. We found Mrs. Robinson she is my angel. She did what no one else could. She taught me to read. I was reading on a first grade reading level and finishing second grade. My mom was back to her normal self and I felt like I got my family back. Just when things were looking better the principle put me back in second grade. I cried for days and I felt so bad because my mom felt like it was her fault because she was sick and couldn't help me as much as I needed. I felt like I wasn't allowed to be happy ever again. I hated seeing those tears in my moms eyes. So I entered second grade again and then realized that Ms. Chickarone saved me from failing for the rest of my life. So with two angels on my side I became for the first time a smart child. So for the first time in 3 years I was truly happy. I knew how to treasure life and love everything that happens because I know that God was listening even if it took time. I wouldn't trade any of this for the world because now I know what love, life, tears and true happiness really are.
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